My last post explained how 2019 taught me to love myself and better myself, and how I will work on being bolder 2020. However, I also want to be more real.
Well, here's the real truth. Being single is hard! With social media, TV, and movies constantly in our lives today, singleness does not get any easier. My dating history can pretty easily be described as a sad joke- and that's okay. Ever since I was little I knew I wanted one thing in life: someone to love me and build a family with me. I have always been a romantic, and I've also always been "the mom” in various friend groups. When I was little and attending daycare before I could go home I would have to tuck all the dolls into their beds and I gave them all a kiss goodnight. Then, the next morning I would come into daycare and woke them all up. In hindsight, that's a little gross considering how many children probably touched and slobbered all over those dolls... but it's the loving gesture of Baby Suz that counts.
As I got older, I was always one of those people that would fall too hard, too fast, and then things would fall apart pretty quickly. The older I got, the more painfully aware I became of how single I really was. College flew by incredibly uneventfully, with the majority of my friends being single as well, so I didn't put a whole lot of thought to my singleness. My friends and I had girls nights, gal-entines days, and midnight runs to Walmart for chocolate. I was perfectly fine being single! Of course, when we watched a rom-com we would dream of our own prince charming, but what teenage girl doesn’t? Senior year came, and that all of that comfortable singleness came to a screeching halt. Why? Because suddenly I was the only one of all my friends who was single, and not only that but almost all of my exes were in seemingly great relationships as well.
I was beyond uncomfortable, I constantly heard and saw about everyone's relationship while I just sat there and wondered why I wasn't good enough. Now I know: that way of thinking doesn't even make sense! How does whether or not I have a boyfriend impact my worth? It doesn't, and it can’t.
That was why figuring out how to love myself for who I am in 2019 was so important in my life. I love not sharing my couch with anyone, or having to explain to a significant other how or why I feel the way I do, I love not having to shave my legs for anyone except myself, I love not having to change myself... because I have learned to love myself.
Are there times I wish I wasn't single? Definitely! I love cuddling, I'm practically a little cuddle bear, and I love being taken care of when I'm sick or hurting. However, I have hope that my time for Prince Charming is still coming. However, my career path does tend to complicate my ideal romance timeline.
To be honest, being single isn't always fun, and it doesn't always seem fair- but sometimes you need to be single to find yourself. You'll make it through just fine, I promise. At the end of the day, isn't waiting for the right guy or girl to come along better than feeling awful for the rest of your life with the wrong person? If your answer was anything other than yes, feel free to reach out to me. I would love to discuss the struggle of singleness with you and hear about your experiences with it. We all deserve our happy endings, but sometimes you have to work a little bit harder to get yours. So, put in the work. I promise you're worth it.
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