top of page
Writer's picturesuzannarita

I never asked for perfect, just a little happy



I think we can all agree there is a certain period of our lives where we were happier than others. Be that because of ourselves or our surroundings that we have no control over. Our lives are constantly changing, and thats because we are as we grow we learn and change-hopefully for the better. As the world around us changes constantly we find ourselves reevaluating old decisions, friends, and oh so much more. 

I don't think we should ver fault ourselves for thinking of and reliving the past, it is after all the reason we are the people we are today. More often than not I used to find myself reminiscing on parts of the past that aren't so beautiful, fun or happy. I think that's why I try to think about happy memories now. When I think about happy memories I find myself harping on them more because instead of wanting to be "stuck in the past" I say that I'm "stuck in the happy". 

Life is never perfect. It is a series of imperfect people doing things imperfectly and yet somehow someone sees them perfectly for the first time and a whole world is changed. 

The time I go back to the most is senior year of high school. It felt perfect, I know I wasn't by any means and I know my senior year self would've laughed at me now saying that. Hindsight, however,  is indeed 20/20, and comparatively I was on cloud nine. My best friend was 30 minutes away instead of 283 miles. All the people who loved and wanted the best for me were not only a phone call away, but were also within 30 minutes if not less. I had a second family that made me feel like I didn't know how I'd ever made it without them and now we rarely speak. Sure, it may not seem like a big deal but moving 5 hours away hurt my heart. It hurt realizing that there was no longer 2 am Walmart runs for chocolate because boys are dumb and lets be honest so are grades, no one sitting there telling you that you are beautiful and everything will be just fine, no more going to a place that felt more like home than anything I could've imagined. Life changed and somewhere along the way after all the glitter of going to college faded I had taken for granted everything that I had just a few months before. 

I'm fine where I am, but I just love the happy I was then. There was no stress about money and jobs and sleeping in the library to get 3 projects and an exam done in time. Things will constantly change, but I don't think I should be faulted for going back to my happy place. 

I will, however, look on to the future with open arms in remembrance of what my past has held and in knowledge that I will feel the joy of the past again and perhaps more so.

"I focus on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.."  ~ Phillippians 3:13

Sending love and {Suzey} sunshine your way... xoxo

3 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page