Do you ever wish you could write your younger self a letter? If you could, what would it say? Would you try to tell yourself to change? If you really could go back and change it would you, or do you think the mistakes you made then make you the person you are now?
In the words of MercyMe "Where do I start. If I could tell you everything that I have learned so far. Then you could be. One step ahead. Of all the painful memories still running thru my head. I wonder how much different things would be."
This is the letter that I needed.
My Dearest Suzanna,
If I said I didn't know where to start I'd be lying. I want to start by telling you you're beautiful, you always have been in your own way. I know people tell you different sometimes, but please be confident in who you are. When I tell you to be confident don't go around with that false cockiness like I know you do. Simply be who you are and live your truth; and if someone can't accept that-that's on them sweetie, not you. You have experienced a lot of hurt in your lifetime and a lot of it isn't your fault, but you know what I'm proud of how strong you are because of it. People walk in and out of your life like it's a revolving door and that's just how life goes sometimes, but be thankful that they came in your life to begin with. God puts people in our lives and then takes away because they are only meant to show us part of the way.
Next, I need to tell you hunny, you are not only "enough" but you are more than and NEVER believe the lies that you are not. Also, do not believe the lie that you are not smart. Yes you are so bad at chemistry and math, I know you're trying but your brain does not work like that. Focus on the positive; your writing, your art and your incredibly nerdy love for history.
Also, Suze I promise if you talk it'll be totally fine. No one can get you to shut up now so maybe just try to talk a little more, I know you're nervous, but some people actually think you're very funny and interesting.
I'm also going to tell you to stop blaming yourself for everything that happens, its not your fault. Sometimes it is and that's fine to own up to your mistakes, but stop thinking that things you have no control over are your fault.
Listen to me very carefully because if you hear nothing else hear this. People are going to hurt you and it'll feel like people are taking parts of you that you will never get back. Part of me wants to tell you to not let it happen to protect your little heart, to never fall in love and to stop giving everyone so much of yourself, but I can't. All those things I want to tell you not to do are the things that formed the woman writing you this letter today. Don't change the best parts of yourself, just be happy because that's all I ever wanted for you.
I Love You,
Suzanna Rita Pickering (The older you)
I would probably love to send this card to myself when I was a senior in high school. Reflecting on it all I don't think I would really want to change myself that much. Sure I would love to go back and change a few things I did in anger and spite and maybe even love. I think at some point in our lives we would all love to change some small thing, but in the end it does make us who we are. Love who you are and embrace it.
Protect they heart for it is the wellspring of life~Proverbs 4:23
I love you all and I'm sending lots of love and {Suzey} Sunshine your way
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